My Uncle Jim

Today is the day we bury my Uncle Jim.  He died last week after a battle with cancer.  I don't like that all of this is happening, let alone so quickly after my Aunt Shirley.  My Dad wrote a beautiful speech to give at his funeral today and it portrays why I loved my Uncle Jim so much. 

'Uncle Jim was like a grandparent to our kids.  They said what they admire most about Uncle Jim was his happy disposition and how easily he smiled and laughed. He knew how to take pleasure in simple things--golf, making popcorn, swinging outside on their glider, wood carving, eating ice cream--and not getting too worked up about the other little details.  When our kids were little my Uncle Jim made a playhouse for them.  This little house, made out of a piece of plywood turned out to be a huge part of their childhood.  It was a house, a school, a doctor’s office, it was ZuZu’s restaurant, it was an orphanage, it was fabulous and built with love by my Uncle Jim.

Although he was spirited--he knew how to have fun and could sometimes show a temper--he also had a sweet and gentle side that was unmatched.  He was so patient and caring for others when they were sick or didn't feel well.

They loved the way that when you talked to him on the phone you could tell he was grinning.  He had a way of asking questions and listening to their answers that made them feel loved.

He made those around him feel happier and thankful.

 

When our daughter Kalley was born, she had to have surgery and as first time parents, we were concerned about her future.  Uncle Jim was working at Rocky flats and we lived in Broomfield, the opposite direction from Boulder.  Even so, he would stop once or twice a week to see Kalley.  His demeanor with her assured us her future was bright and she was well loved.

 

When we needed anything, my Uncle Jim was always there.  I knew I could always depend on him.  Before Kathy and I got settled, he helped us move 5 times in three years.  I would call and say - Unkie Jim.  He knew that meant we were going to move.  I remember when we left student housing and I had built our living room entertainment center out of boards and cinder blocks.  He threw the cinder blocks out the window.  We lived on the second floor.  He was hoping they would break.  Instead, they buried themselves half way into the ground.  We were poor, so I dug them up and took them anyway.  When we moved to Aurora from Broomfield, he said, “I not moving those blocks again and cracked them with a hammer.”

 

Aunt Ellie and Uncle Jim were more like second parents to me than an aunt and uncle.  I remember once when I was a little boy, I wanted to go camping.  I borrowed a tent from my Uncle Jim and headed off to wilderness with my comrades, just below Parker’s farm and half way to Negly.  Well we had taken some Kabossie to cook over the campfire and had a big cast iron skillet.  I had the idea that my rag wasn’t big enough to use as a hot pad, so I thought I would dip it in the creek to cool it off.  Well when I wrapped it around the cast iron handle, the water boiled and I immediately felt the pain and flipped the skillet up and let the hot grease and water run down over my hand.  Later that night, after we went to sleep, all I could think about was the pain and it quickly became intolerable.  So we hiked back out to a little farm house and the women let me make a phone call.  I knew I couldn’t’ call my mother as she would panic, so at 3:00 in the morning I called my Uncle Jim.  He found us within 20 minutes and took me home.  He then went back out and found the campsite, packed it up and brought it home.  He was like a super hero to me.

 

He was a character and a great handy man.  He could fix just about anything, but wasn’t always patient.  Things didn’t always work the same way after he fixed them, but they did work.  I remember once I went to go in bathroom and Aunt Ellie stopped me to say Uncle Jim had fixed the sink.  She had a way of making her temples move back and then she would roll her eyes to one side as if to say you will see what I mean.  The hot and cold water in the bathroom did turn on, but they were reversed – everything he fixed was always just a little bit different.

 

One Christmas, he couldn’t get the Christmas tree to stand up straight, so he nailed it to the floor.  It worked.  When he broke his arm and the doctor put it in a cast, he came home and it was bothering him.  So he had a shot of Scotch, went down to the basement and cut it off with a hack saw and said there now it’ll be fine.  And it was.

 

He fell in love with wood carving.  He worked for a company in downtown DEN running an elevator on a new high rise going up.  He started witling on the wooden stool he sat on.  That’s the stool itself.  Someone saw that and gave him a piece of wood to work on instead.  Look at what that turned into. Santa Claus, ducks, animals, Mickey mouse, eagles, nativity set.  He was very talented with his hands.

 

I remember watching him on the backhoe.  He would tell me it’s all in the fingers.  He had four levers that he used without moving his arms.  He could do almost anything with it.  The laborers in the hole loved him, because he did most of the work for them. Some operators would just dig a hole and let them finish off the details.  He was so good at cleaning the hole; they didn’t have to do much.  If there was work around utilities, they always had him do it because he was so careful and precise.  He dug the foundation for the house we now live in..  It is built on sand but it is so well compacted that it hasn’t moved in 25 years.

 

My Uncle Jim knew how to keep things simple.  I’m not a very good golfer and so everyone is always giving me advice.  Stand a little closer to the ball, keep your head down, transfer your weight when you swing, yada-yada-yada, I never pay any attention to what they are saying.  The only person I ever listen to was my Uncle Jim.  He would say just hit it easy and keep it in the middle of the fairway.   If I try to kill it, it can take two or three strokes to get to the green.  If I listen my Uncle Jim, I can get there in two.  It’s a great life lesson learned for me.  Keep it simple and you will succeed.

 

Uncle Jim was so well loved by his family.  My cousin Stephanie took the past10 months of her life to be with her dad and my cousin Jimmy has taken the past and hardest month to be here; they put their lives on hold to spend it with their dad.  They made sure he got his last wish…  he wanted to die at home.

 

Why did everyone love my Uncle Jim?  I think it’s because he was not pretentious. He wasn’t complicated. He never tried to be something he wasn’t. He took pleasure in simple things.  He was easy to please, easy to laugh, he forgave easily and never took himself too seriously.  He was who he was.  He had the qualities and spirit of a little boy.  My Uncle Jim had it all figured out.  What is important in life?  Is it money?  Is it status?  Is it really that complicated?  Or is it family?  Is it just plain Love?  My Uncle Jim was very wise…

I loved my Uncle Jim.  I used to call him early in the morning once or twice a week.  He’d say Hello there Bradley, how is it out there in beautiful Colorado.  I miss our talks.  He passed last week, but for me he will always be alive in my memories.  That happy, sweet man I called my Uncle Jim.'

 

    

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